it's a rainy, gloomy friday morning =(
i don't like it when it rains.. very depressing
no sunlight shining into my room, gotta waste electricity switching on the ceiling lights

this kind of weather makes me lazy..even a little sad
feel like sleeping but have to get ready in a while...

i've been watching One Tree Hill lately.. waiting for Episode 17 for Season 3 now..

i dunno wat i'm typing about
just wanna keep myself awake

i haven't applied unis thru UCAS yet coz I really want Oz Uni
but..if i get the mindef one, i gotta go UK
ahhh, but i don't want to
all my friends are in this part of the world

if i were to tell this to the army officer, they would surely give me a long lecture

when i was at mindef, the officers kept on asking us to aim high
aim for the sky, so even if we don reach it, we'll fall on the clouds
which is still, pretty high!

but... i just want a simple life...
doing the things i love
i don't want reality to turn me into someone who's materialistic
i mean, i have to be rational
i know i can't survive with a pay lower than $1000 per month coz i know my spending pattern

teaching in stella was really enjoyable for me
seeing the lil cuties~ esp my little darling chloe who never fails to put a smile on my face

if i didn't have to worry about $, i would definitely go for a job like that
Why? why? why?
what happened to my dreams?

when i was younger, i wanted to study 'education' and set up schools in 3rd world countries to educate the people there so that one day, they would be able to develop their country without having to succumb to threats by powerful nations to help them grow with strings attached

as i grow a little older, my dreams 'shrink' into setting up a nursery school coz i adore kids

but look at what course i'm taking now..
Economics, Business... $,$,$
feel like i'm turning into someone else i don't want myself to become

i once read that..
you know you're becoming old when dreams slowly disappear...and regrets start multiplying

i don't wanna grow old and live in regrets
thinking abt what i should have done but didn't

i used to think that meeting the man of my dreams would guarantee me a life of 'happily ever after'
must have been Disney fairytales' influence

i never understand why ppl has to stray
seeing and hearing so many stories made me lose confidence in what i pictured to be 'the life i want'

my 'perfect' guy would be someone who makes me feel secure
someone i can trust to always be there for me
someone i can just take his mobile phone and play with, without fearing that i would come across things i don't want to see
someone who understands me and make me feel like i am a good person

he doesn't have to be perfect to everyone else, he just has to be 'perfect' for me
is it very hard?
despite all the cynical thoughts, i still want to believe in fairytales
maybe if i believe it hard enough, everything i wish for will come true