Alive

I had a funny dream last night/this morning.
Actually I'm not sure if it's a dream..or part of my imagination..but I'm gonna call it a dream anyway.

In my dream, I passed away. I could hear my friends talking about me. I recalled the girls crying.. the boys trying to console them. I was present in the room, but no one could see or feel my presence. I didn't have a figure..just a conscious mind.

It probably isn't very nice to blog about this, but in my dream, I felt calm. I was at ease and the thought of death did not scare me. Death itself does not scare me. What scares me is, if I've done enough to leave a mark in my friends' heart, to make them remember me for my good, even if I should leave them earlier one day.

I told myself to live each day meaningfully, so even if I suddenly leave, I would leave with no regrets. The people around me would know how much I love and appreciate them..and would live their lives to the fullest, for theirs and my sake. To fulfill my dreams and do extra good on my behalf.

Even when I woke up in the morning, I felt extra peaceful..
In this life, I have loved, I have thought, I have done..
I've been down..I've healed my soul and spirit through numerous pain..
To me, life is wonderful as it already is..
I couldn't have asked for more..
And I'm very thankful to have met someone who had a life-changing influence on me.
There's no hurt, no disappointment, no blame-pushing.. only more love and gratitude, for making me a stronger and better person.

Before I go to sleep tonight, I'd smile, knowing I have not lived today in vain.
Today, I tried something new!
I went on a buggy, for a ride on the beach.
I'd accelerated to the fullest..and have felt the wind on my face.
I've laughed with my friends, celebrated a friend's birthday, screamed to my heart's desire without a care in the world, saw a sunset, took a picture of the sunset, played in the sea, got myself dirty while playing with the sand and got thoroughly wet, chatted with my best friend and told her I love her, had my mom's cooking for dinner, hugged and kissed her goodnight..
It's little things like these that matter to me.. they make me feel truly alive!