Today is a gift?

I am sometimes guilty of 'living in the past'.

The past always seems like a safe place to be...since I already know what to expect.

When I was in first year of uni, I thought 'Oh, how I miss my A level days.'

When I got to second year, I wished to be a fresher again.

Yup, you guessed it. In first term, third year, I thought 'Second year was so easy. I wish I could turn back time and be in second year again...The econometrics projects and essays were so easy. Boo RAE (Research in Applied Economics).'

Finally, when I finally graduated from uni, I wanted to do it all over again... because it was so 'fun'.

'Fun'- Prior to BRID EX, we had to attend a half day course conducted by a Singaporean consultant. He told us his definition of 'fun'. You never actually think what you are doing is 'fun' at the moment. In fact, while you're slogging, 'fun' is the last word you would use to describe your job. But the moment you are done- that's when you'll think 'wow, that was fun!'

I couldn't agree more.

So while my uni experience was 'fun', I certainly did not think so while I was stressing over my research projects, essays and exams. While my Temburong jungle experience was 'fun', I definitely did not enjoy it when I was carrying 8kg worth of ochipalas in my bag for 9 hours a day. While open-sea kayaking was 'fun', you bet I was cursing the waves when I was so sea-sick I wanted to give up and stay in the island forever instead of kayaking back to Serasa.

The only bit I should be happy about is that I never allow myself to give up- because I know it will always be worth it in the end. Sadly, I hardly ever enjoy the process.

I need to learn to enjoy living in the present.

I need to learn to embrace the 'here and now'.