Is it worth it?

 "When we were young, we chased numbers ($); we are still doing that now that we are older, but of a different kind (cholesterol level, blood sugar level, etc)." said my dad.

My parents and aunts have been going for regular medical checkups in the recent years. This statement popped up one night when we were having dinner. My aunt had just gotten her test results and was comparing them with her previous years' results and with my parents'. 

"My 'good cholesterol' level is higher compared to last year- I think it's because I have been eating the omega 3- fish oil. What's yours?" 

"Oh, mine's...." 

"The doctor said..."

The frequency of such conversations dominating the dinner table has been increasing as I grow older. We all know that aging is a natural part of life but it has never hit me until I see more wrinkles appearing on my loved ones' faces, more grey hair on their head and them having to use a magnifying glass to read small prints.

I am extremely grateful to still be able to enjoy my loved ones' company but I feel a heavy weight in my heart each time I notice these signs of aging around me. 

My dad's statement about 'chasing numbers' got me thinking. "When we were young, we worked hard and sometimes sacrificed our health to see the numbers in our bank accounts increase.. now that we are older, we use those money we have earned to buy back the health we lost." That's a little ironic, isn't it?

I'm sure most of us have been guilty of overworking ourselves sometimes. Skipped meals/instant meals (I'm not sure which is worse), all-nighters, insomnia, bouts of self-questioning periods when we think we have fallen short of our expectations.. Quite coincidentally, I pulled an all-nighter last night for a presentation this morning. I think this is the eighth time I have done this since I started working over a year ago. Skipped meals is an all too familiar occurrence. Besides the immense pressure of meeting deadlines, I allow my body to go through so much because,  'It's ok, my body is able to take it.'

To do this also requires a certain degree of belief that the return will be higher than the effort invested- that the value we are creating for ourselves/ the society exceeds the discomfort we put ourselves through.

Is it worth it?  

While I busy myself 'contributing to the society via my job', I have forsaken the time that I could have taken to spend it with my family and loved ones. If I 'overwork' myself on a continuous basis, I might also forsake my health. These are some of the opportunity costs. How many stories have we heard about such regrets?

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

An excerpt from 'The Top Five Regrets People Have On Their Deathbeds'

How do you compare the returns from your job- in terms of money and the contributions you make to the society- with the returns you get from sharing a nice day out with your loved ones or witnessing your children's milestones? Which side of the scale weighs more? Because from the way I see it, maintaining harmony at home is an essential (and often underrated) cornerstone of a harmonious society.

Photo from tumblr

In the end, what is your definition of a life well-lived?  Is it by how healthy you are in old age? The numbers in your bank account? The size and design of your house? The number of places you have travelled to? Your recognised contributions to the society in the form of titles, Nobel Prizes and whatnot or the quality of your relationship with people who matters the most to you? The lives you've touched?

Each of us would answer it differently, if we know how to answer it fully at all.  Sometimes, it helps to think, 'will this matter on my deathbed'?  Every so often, it is only clear in retrospect; when we look back and connect the dots.

'We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us.'

So, is it worth it?