No, I did not escape work today nor did I throw my clothes in a backpack and set off to Taiwan.
I just tried to 'live' every moment.
I did not press the snooze button when my alarm went off this morning- because if this was my last day, I certainly would not spend it in bed.
I had breakfast leisurely- my favourite peanut butter and bread plus a cup of water, for the record :)
Then I drove to work. While I was walking to the office, I tried to concentrate on my surrounding, like really looking at the path, the trees, the buildings, the sky and feeling the wind- instead of getting lost in my usual thoughts.
While at work, I tried to put in my 100%. I am terribly guilty of being easily distracted at work. Usually, while doing a task, I would open up a few tabs and multi-task, switching between news, tiny buddha, office webmail, on top of whatever I was doing at the moment.
Today, I did nothing of that. I concentrated on my task at hand and allowed myself 5 mins of 'distraction time' after achieving certain milestones.
It felt really good.
During lunch, I joined my parents and extended family from S'pore at my cousin's restaurant. I was not feeling very hungry and I remembered what I had read earlier in the morning while I was surfing the net. This lady said she would choose to indulge in just one thing she really craved for each meal. That way, she would not only be able to cure her hunger pangs but also gain much satisfaction. Since I was not feeling very hungry, I chose one item from the menu I really wanted- soybean pudding and I felt good at the end of the meal.
Back at work in the afternoon, I did my best to put my heart into whatever I was doing. I went to several departments to scout for the information required for my project and made a few phonecalls. After I was done, I was quite proud of myself- not just because I managed to carry out the tasks in my 'to-do list', but because I enjoyed doing them too.
And just for the sake of it, I logged onto warwick's website and started filling in a postgrad application form to pursue my masters in behavioural economics.
Before leaving work, I texted my ex-project mates to greet them for Raya. Their replies put a huge smile on my face.
Upon reaching home, showering and changing, I zoomed off to the airport to say bye to my cousin who was leaving for UK. After the airport, we went to my uncle's restaurant to have a farewell dinner for my extended family who are leaving for S'pore tomorrow and at the same time, a welcome dinner for another few from KK.
I can be terribly shy and my social skill is almost non-existent. So imagine my uneasiness when I was placed at the 'children's table'. I hardly see my younger cousins and I had no idea how to mingle with 15 year olds. I thought I was shy- but they were more shy than me!
If they were 2 or 3, I would have had a great time entertaining and playing with them. If they were in their 20s, I could talk to them about the things 20 year olds talk about. 'Oh no, what do I do with teenagers?' I was almost at the verge of giving up and was planning to have the meal in silence- but the little voice in my head protested and said, 'NO! Think! Are you sure this is what you would do if this was your last day? Try something! Anything!'
So in an instant, I had to develop really 'thick skin' and just talked to them & asked them to play games on my phone with me.I really enjoyed myself and was even feeling a little sad when we had to go home.
What a day! It turned out to be an activity-filled day, but to answer my own question, 'Is life really defined by doing'?
Maybe not.
Maybe it's defined as simply 'being'.
That was what I was trying to do the whole day right? Just simply being.
I will try this exercise out again some time in the near future. I just might see things from another perspective then.
Greeted by a rainbow on my way out this evening
So what if today was my last day?
Rest assured, I lived through every minute of it. Of course, I spent a good part of my day missing somebody I wish I could drive the hundreds of km just to get a glimpse...but I simply had to acknowledge these feelings and knew that not everything is meant to be said or done. I should not be selfish, especially if today was my last day.
So this is it.
Good night, world! :)
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